Lesson 1: The Peculiar Ones

On a recent trip to Ontario, my friend and I perused the young adult fiction section of Chapters in search of novels that could work for high school English classrooms (and mostly to feed our inner teenagers who craved fantasy and adventure after so many good nonfiction books that adults are supposed to read.*) A friendly Chapters gremlin offered himself as our literary tour guide and pointed  out some fantastic books and we heaped our arms full before navigating toward the till.
One such book was "Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children." While this novel was at times creepy, its themes clung to the recesses of my mind this last week. Essentially, the main character visits an island that is home to a collection of children with unusual gifts. They have been misunderstood, battered, and abandoned because of their abilities so Miss Peregrine has offered them shelter from the cruel world of "ordinary" people. The main character, rather than being aghast at their qualities, finds himself at home for the first time in his life. I won't share any more details for those of you who may want to read the book, but the metaphor of being peculiar entrenched itself in my psyche and I have been making parallels to life all week.

I'm peculiar. Just like everyone ever created, I am unique and I come with my own set of characteristics, passions, idiosyncracies, and affinities. I happen to believe that everyone is a nerd- it is just a matter of time until you become self-actualised. I am peculiar because I have always been aware of my peculiarities. I tried to diminish them for years and fit into a mould that seemed destined for every good Christian girl who went to a good Christian school. But it didn't fit. I mean to say that I didn't fit into it and struggling to make myself fit the mould only led to dissatisfaction and heartache. The end of that struggle was the start of my life.

Sometimes I feel like the entire message of society is that our worth is measured by our relationships with people. I realize that as human beings we are hard-wired for relationship. But I am often caught in the trap of believing that my worth is signified by my relationships or lack thereof with the opposite gender. I do not think that the church intends to isolate people or make them feel like they must be miserable if they are not married or working towards marriage (whatever that means).
In fact, I choose to see this obsession with wanting people to be married as a testament to my church leaders' great marriages and their desire for us singles to experience it.

What bothers me with the negative messaging about single life is our inherent posture towards wishing for what we don't have rather than choosing to be grateful for what we do have. I'm not saying that it's wrong to long for marriage or to be sad or lonely. Those are all normal human experiences and it's healthy to be authentic about them with yourself, God, and your support team. God is not afraid of our anger or sadness; in fact, he loves when we run to him with our problems rather than pretending they're not there. I merely state all of the above to say that I wonder what life would be like if we chose to focus our energy on being grateful for what we DO have. Single life can be and is rich and abundant. We can make ourselves open to life and experience; being fully alive beings that interact intentionally with the world around us. We can choose to delight in the freedom and independence we have while recognizing our utter dependence upon God. In the end, doesn't that make us better prepared to be in relationship with others- recognizing our need for God and allowing him to fill the empty places in us and give us our sense of purpose?

I don't want to pine for things that I don't have and miss out on all of the opportunities I DO have. I don't want to have regrets about my single life. I want to intentionally enjoy each phase of my life and realize all that I will give up one day in order to be with someone because I love him enough to sacrifice my awesome singleness in order to serve him and walk with him. (I also have my sneaking suspicions that he would have to at least match my peculiarity level and I'm still waiting for that to happen.)

A new narrative must be born out of our changing society, and that must be that there is space for amazing singleness in Christian circles. We are not desperate incomplete beings, but fully alive and thriving individuals who have the opportunity to accomplish so much for the kingdom of God. Life is rich with possibilities and time is too precious to waste. For my part, if this perspective is odd, then I cherish being a 'peculiar'.

*I actually really do enjoy nonfiction literature.

Welcome to my Classroom

It is a truth ecclesiastically acknowledged that a single woman past the age of 21 must be in want of a husband. That, or she "bats for the other team" or must have taken some sort of Pauline vow of celibacy. I should know for I now have reached the ripe "old" age of 30 and have heard it all; however, I adhere to none of the aforementioned policies. I'm just an imaginative woman who has tapped into the fountain of youth and wants to Benjamin Button her life with all of this newfound knowledge. Welcome to my classroom- it stretches beyond the 4 walls of my portable and into the vast, unpredictable realm of cyberspace.*






*That last line should give you a clear picture of the fact that I grew up in the pre-Internet-rules-my-life-era and use ancient words like cyberspace.